Each individual works out his/her salvation with God (approaches himself/herself to the spirit or backs away). The church tells us how and provides mediums (sacrament meeting, temple, priestood ordinances) for this to take place, but the degree of spiritual unity between an individual and God depends on the righteousness/repentance of that individual, not church policies. The church doesn’t set the bar for spiritual communion (that is an eternal, unchanging standard set before the world was) and it doesn’t force anyone to commune. It can’t.

If I want the spirit with me (peace love and fulfillment) I don’t look at porn. When I look at porn I feel empty, frustrated and sad. I know the former is good and the latter is bad; I’ve had personal experience with both. It is now my choice for which I want. My spirit, my life, my salvation. My signature first on the temple recommend, my priestood to use or lose, my life to be blessed or not. My honesty in interviews and with friends and family. My integrity. My soul. I am grateful for the church’s help in building my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, but my relationship is with them and their mandate to “be ye therefore perfect” and not to church policies and standards.

I once heard that one effect (intended or not) of the strict rules at BYU is that students who want to experience the thrill of rebellion can do so through relatively benign acts. Not shaving, wearing shorts, carrying a Starbucks cup, swearing, etc. gets you the same mileage as body piercing, binge drinking, and casual sex at a normal school.

Maybe the church’s approach to porn is having a similar effect. The zero-tolerance policy gives relatively benign porn an added allure. Because it’s so forbidden, men in Utah seem to be able to get what they need from sites on par with the Victoria’s Secret catalog, and have no use for the coarser stuff that might actually have an adverse impact.